Political Differences: The New Dealbreaker for Teen Relationships
For some, political differences in dating are a dealbreaker. For others, they’re an opportunity for growth. Artwork: Sabrine Uddin
By DILAN BELOW
with Samiah Fardous and Smita Sadek
They say opposites attract, but does that apply to politics? Sixty years ago, race and religion were the main dividing lines in our country when it came to who people picked to be their friends, neighbors, and romantic partners. Now, those dealbreakers have shifted to politics.
With the rise of social media activism, intense political debates, and shifting societal norms, the way teens, especially women, approach love, dating, and relationships is evolving. A 2021 Gallup study shows that roughly 94% of Americans have no issue dating outside of their race (up from 22% in 1969), but roughly half would not date someone who disagrees with them politically.
A March Argus poll of Midwood students showed similar results, with 78% of Hornets open to dating someone outside of their race but only 20% of female students willing to date someone who supported Donald Trump. (Male students demonstrated greater flexibility, with 69% stating they would date a Republican and 60% open to dating a Trump supporter.) This disparity suggests that young people in general, but especially young women, view political differences as reflective of core values, not just simple policy disagreements.
So why has political affiliation become a key factor in dating? And why do liberal women, in particular, prioritize politics when choosing a partner?
Donald Trump’s presidency saw policies and judicial appointments that significantly impacted women’s rights, LGBTQ+ protections, and racial minorities. His appointment of conservative Supreme Court justices led to the overturning of Roe v. Wade, stripping federal abortion protections. Additionally, his administration moved to ban transgender individuals from serving in the military.
Many progressive women view these policies as opposing fundamental human rights issues. As a result, dating someone who supports Trump isn’t just about differing views on tax policy or government spending; it instead signals a deeper divide in values that many find non-negotiable in relationships.
This trend aligns with broader societal patterns. Issues such as reproductive rights, gender, and equality have become personal for many students. Melody McDonald ‘26 said, “I wouldn’t date someone with different political views. The things [Trump] believes in go against my whole identity. Why would I date somebody who disagrees with me? It’s as if you just don’t like me — you don’t care for my well-being, my comfort, my race, or anything.”
According to The New York Times, young women’s political views have dramatically shifted to be more progressive since 2016. This was most likely driven by a series of pivotal events, including Donald Trump’s first election, the #MeToo movement, and the Supreme Court’s overturning of Roe v. Wade. As a result, many young women are more politically engaged than ever, with 40% of women ages 18 to 29 now identifying as liberal, compared to 21% who say they are conservative, according to Gallup. The rest label themselves moderates.
Of course, there are many students who believe that political differences don’t have to be a barrier in relationships.
Spencer Spallone ‘26 said, “I would date someone who disagrees with me politically because my political opinions are not very strong. It’s not a big part of my personality, so I don’t think it would interfere with dating someone.”
“Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and I'm not going to change them,” said junior Greta Laudazi, a conservative. “I wouldn't care. Everyone can support what they want.”
Some students even see a relationship with someone with a contrasting viewpoint as an opportunity for growth.
“I'm not really into politics, but I like hearing different opinions,” Michael Corigan ‘26 said. “I can learn from them.”
Steven Chervony ‘26 said, “I think it's important to allow some disagreements to happen and not separate yourself from everyone you disagree with.”
A poll we conducted (see below) showed that conservative students were generally more open to dating across party lines, with 56% willing to date a Democrat. However, only 23% of liberal students were willing to date a Republican.
Junior Kiran Ishtiaq explained, “I believe that Republicans and conservatives do not have the same values as liberals and Democrats. It would be difficult to find common ground on important subjects, such as if I were to want an abortion.”
Similarly, liberal student Mariah Vixama-Joazil ‘26 said that she would “break up with someone over their political beliefs because it can reveal something deeper about their character.”
And while race is no longer a barrier for most teens, religious differences were more divisive — only 54% of students in our poll expressed a willingness to date someone outside their religion. So religion and politics remain deeply personal and influential factors in romantic decision-making.
The question remains whether political differences reflect a growing intolerance or a more thoughtful approach to relationships. Political alignment may just signal a desire for shared goals and values; however, dismissing potential partners based on political differences may risk losing the opportunity for a meaningful connection and reinforce unhealthy echo chambers. As political identity becomes more tied to personal relationships, the challenge is figuring out how much politics should count in matters of the heart.
Racial differences are no longer much of a barrier when it comes to teen relationships, but politics (as well as college plans, religion, and age discrepancies) can be an obstacle. Art: Samiah Fardous
Argus SURVEY: Would You Consider Being in a Relationship with Someone Who…?
Times change, and so does dating – as well as what gets in the way of it. In 1969, only about 22% of Americans approved of interracial marriage. Now 95% support it. But while race is no longer as much of a barrier when it comes to relationships, political views have become more important than ever, with large numbers of adults saying in surveys that they would not date someone who doesn’t share their politics.
We were curious what factors would get in the way of a relationship amongst teens, so we surveyed 200 Midwood students from a variety of grades and backgrounds to find out. Here’s what they told us. Feel free to share your thoughts about the results in a letter to the editor.
Percentage of all students who WOULD consider being in a romantic relationship with someone…
One year older than them: 95%
Two years older than them: 82%
Outside their race / ethnicity: 78%
Outside their religion: 54%
Who came from a family with a lot more money than theirs: 94%
Who came from a family with a lot less money than theirs: 76%
Percentage of FEMALE students who WOULD consider being in a romantic relationship with someone…
One year younger than them: 55%
Two years younger than them: 11%
Who supported Democrats: 83%
Who supported Republicans: 35%
Who supported Donald Trump: 20%
Who was planning to never go to college: 31%
Percentage of MALE students who WOULD consider being in a romantic relationship with someone…
One year younger than them: 93%
Two years younger than them: 37%
Who supported Democrats: 83%
Who supported Republicans: 69%
Who supported Donald Trump: 60%
Who was planning to never go to college: 53%
Percentage of REPUBLICAN / CONSERVATIVE-leaning students who WOULD consider being in a romantic relationship with someone…
Who supported Democrats: 56%
Percentage of DEMOCRAT / PROGRESSIVE-leaning students who WOULD consider being in a romantic relationship with someone…
Who supported Republicans: 23%
SUMMARY:
While boys were mostly open to dating people across the political spectrum, including both Democrats (83%) and Republicans (69%), girls were largely unwilling to have a relationship with a Republican (35%), and even less so a Donald Trump supporter (20%).
On that note, only 23% of students who identified as progressives were willing to date a Republican, while a much higher percentage of conservatives (56%) were willing to try dating a Democrat.
Both boys and girls were overwhelmingly accepting of dating older students, but only 55% of girls would date someone who was one year younger than them, and that number dropped to 11% for potential mates who were two years younger. Boys were fine with partners who were one year younger (93%), but much more hesitant (37% said maybe) when the partner was two years younger.
Boys were also less bothered than girls by a date who was planning to never go to college. Though a little over half of boys (53%) were open to that possibility, girls were more turned off; only 31% would say yes to someone who had ruled out higher education.
And lastly, though racial and ethnic differences were not a dealbreaker for 78% of students, only 54% were fine dating outside of their religion.